


Breath

by Schattenfeuer



Series: Ophelia [3]
Category: Nightmare Harem (Visual Novel)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Gen, Other, Reader-Insert, genderneutral reader, no happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-10
Updated: 2020-08-10
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:46:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25828417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Schattenfeuer/pseuds/Schattenfeuer
Summary: All you wanted was to touch his heart. You never meant to plant the seeds of despair.
Relationships: Mikael/reader
Series: Ophelia [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1867681
Kudos: 2





	Breath

You believed it, with all your heart you did. This was what you have been destined for, the reason why you came here. The pushing force behind whatever cosmic forces had pushed and pulled you onto this chess board with its living, breathing pieces. Somehow, you had always felt like an outsider, neither one thing nor the other, had straddled that awkward in between in every moment you spent here. Eventually, you had just accepted it, that you were incomplete and would remain so, while all the others around boasted vibrant and lively their perfect imperfections with striking confidence. 

Just when you thought that everything was over, when all things were said and done, a new player revealed himself, stepped on the field right next to yours and offered you a hand to drag you out of the shadows, at first every move, every touch, every single world had been a coldly calculated thing, meant to bring him closer to his purpose, his end goal. You hadn’t even noticed the way his walls of ice had slowly started to thinnen, to thaw underneath the constant rays of your sun. 

And just like a game of chess, every move had consequences, every piece had its worth, even you, even this unwanted, unknown entity that was you. Eclipsed by his glory you felt strangely comforted in the knowledge that all of this had just been because of you. You had discovered the drying of sacred rivers. You had caught the whispers on the wind, of a sacrificial lamb replaced. It took away the sting of old and new pain, dulled it to a faint throbbing behind your closed eyelids, like tears fighting to be spilled, even now as you reined them in. 

Between dust and small rocks, on wilted grass and bathed in grisly red light, you finally gathered all your courage, weighed the knife in the palm of your hand hesitantly, unsure if it was good, if it was a pure thing to steal this holiest of all moments from him, before it came rushing back to you, with each breath that left a taste of desert and ruin on your tongue your resolve strengthened. 

A kiss couldn’t change the path you had decided to take on, this was your decision and yours alone. Someone had to die, had to give their blood, life and soul so that the world would not shriver and disappear into dust like the wilted grass underneath your bare feet, and this someone would not be him. Not while you were still alive and kicking, while you had the chance to push all the grief away from him. He was everything good and lovely in this world, he wore happiness with graceful ease, even if it was a subdued, cold kind of comfort for you, you wished nothing but the best of lives for him. 

One single drop of blood would be enough, yet you wanted to make sure this would work. The tip of your blade shook, despite your best efforts to stay strong, some small, primal part inside of your struggled and kicked, screaming that this was madness, that you were throwing away your most important goods for a love he could never understand. He might even like you now, but not after you were done. Gnashing your teeth and closing your eyes, you pushed onwards nonetheless, there was no other way, no choice, the point of no return long passed and behind you. 

A soft whimper left your throat, spilled just the way your blood did out of the long gash at the tender inside of your wrist, a narrow line of steady dripping life pooled around your feet, you watched, breathless and with twisted hope in your eyes but as the cracked, dry soil greedily soaked up your blood, nothing happened, nothing expect a tidal wave of horror crashing together over you, taking you deep, deep down with it. 

In the hollow plain of your broken heart, the devil started to dance with a wicked smile on his lips, you couldn’t save him, you had tried and the angel that you loved more than life itself was not safe, your blood hadn’t been enough. The realization hit hard, hit exactly where it hurt the most and you threw your head back to scream, to howl in blinding hurt like a wounded wolf. Echoes of your pain carried far and carried wide on the sharp wings of autumn wind, they drowned out the chime like sound of your fallen blade, they covered the hasty steps chasing after them to get to the source of them. 

Your eyes were blinded by the mocking brightness of the moon, washed red with your blood as you fell to your knees, no strength left inside of you, this was all for nothing, this showed exactly the worth of you. In the game of chess that fate played with you as its centerpiece, you had just been beaten by your own ambition, it hadn’t been enough to touch his heart for a moment, you wanted more, wanted a taste of this heavenly rush, wanted a special place inside his mind. 

Someone called your name behind you, tone soft and scared and your head dropped to your heaving chest, your fingers clawed into the dust and sand underneath you, all while crimson red still dripped down merrily the ripped expanse of your wrist, the pool rolling down, away from your cowering form was growing, steadily, warm while you yourself felt chilled to the bone. 

“It wasn’t enough…”, you whimpered, eyes wide and blind with tears, an ugly smile stretching your lips taunt and pale, you felt like laughing, like crying, like shouting all over again. And at the same time, you felt exhaustion’s leaden touch. it came over you like a blanket of chains, wrapping your limbs snugly and tightly, until you no longer felt able to even breathe. “I am so sorry...I...wanted...to be enough...to…”

“It’s not your role, you are not…”, rarely had he run out of words but in this moment, even the great Mikael, lord of all angels, struggled as he tried to approach you, you as you cowered there, between the blood and the dust, you who looked so broken and frail in the moonlight. “You did enough. You are free now.”

Moving so carefully, Mikael came to a stop at your side, slow and gentle was his touch as he put his hand on your shoulder, felt the thin skin stretch over sharp angles of bone and the agonized hammering of your pulse as his hand curled around the back of your nape, tenderly as he pulled you closer. Limply, you allowed it to happen, leaned against his chest, curled up like a lost child, without guidance, without hope, you were empty, had nothing left to give and yet, here he was, telling you that it was enough, that you had done enough. 

“How…”, how could this be enough, how could he say that when you couldn’t even save his life? Even when you loved to the fullest, you remained a useless thing. A broken thing that no one seemed valuable enough to keep, nevertheless fix. “How can you say that?”

“Look at me.”, he wore the most beautiful, sad smile when you did, it softened the harsh red of his eyes, made your heart squeeze with longing and before you knew it, you reached out, with dirty and bloodied hands, you blindly reached for his brightness, his perfect imperfection,for the person that was him just as a sinner would reach for salvation. The tip of your fingers hovered, never quite connected with the smoothness of his skin, only when he put his own hand over yours did you make contact, the mindless, lovestruck caress of your thumb over the velvet veiled hardness of his cheek left an ugly smear of red. You stained him and yet he didn’t seem to mind it one bit, his free hand curled around your wrist, his palm closed the gaping wound you had torn into your own flesh with a deliciously warm prickling that faded too fast. “All of this is your work.”

A foulness bloomed in your mind as you took in the sight of him, kneeling next to your crumbling, shaking form and the dark stain that soiled his pristine skin like a mark of something vile, something unworthy. All you ever wanted was to love. To love to its fullest. To make someone else happy. Why was it not meant to be?

Just as you were about to succumb to it all, something snapped, you felt it inside you, a dam broke and everything was about to be consumed by the ocean you held within you, your grief and fear and pain and finally, your love, this endless, boundless, selfless thing that had given you nothing but trouble, it all came pouring out of you, as between the cracks of the dried up lake bed, little geysirs of crystal clear water started to gush and gurgle. In the mirror of his eyes you saw yourself, how your hair started to turn dark and to cling to your skin as it became drenched by some unseen force of nature, drops of water pearled from the tips of your hair, from the corner of your eyes, stuck to your eyelashes like glittering shards of crushed diamonds, only to turn into fairy kisses of sweet coolness as they touched your lips. 

Water, cool and sweet, started to pool in your lungs, every breath became harder than the last, yet you laughed, delighted in the suffocating agony that was wrecking through your body, your mind screamed for air and your heart, oh it sung, it danced in fatalistic joy, your hands, wet and soaked to the bone, cleaned of dirt and blood now, reached once again for his, you laughed and laughed, while all he could do was watch in silent terror, frozen to the core at the sight of your skin slowly losing its color, of you being washed out, heartbeat by heartbeat. 

“No…”, this was not meant to be, you were not destined to end like this! He wanted nothing of this for you, no pain, no slow death as your lungs filled with water until it would bubble up your throat, Mikael abandoned the last shards of icy control to reach out, blindly and driven by a fear that touched the deepest, darkest recesses of his heart. Even holding you in his arms, pressed against his chest, he could not stop the waters of Nightmare to claim you, you the foolish human who had somehow melted down the facade he had built around himself. You, who had whittled away at his defences until he had no other choice left but to let you in, you who had shared your memories with him in exchange for nothing. “How…”

The worth of the soul determined the strength of the current, its pureness the amount of water. The lake was already filled to the brim and you were still here, slowly disintegrating in his arms, while he tried desperately to save even a single drop of you, your laughter had long turned into a soft hum as you leaned against him, not quite here anymore but not gone either. He felt the soft coldness of your lips, tasted fresh streams on your breath and saw oceans reflected in the otherworldly gleam of your eyes, you were so beautiful, so serene right now and it broke his heart into so many little shards. 

“It did work.”, your triumph was bittersweet as your crying eyes fixated onto his, lost and found and overflowing with pure, unconditional love. He could not take it, your gaze struck a chord within him whose tune shattered every thought and dream and knowledge he thought he had, wishing nothing more than to drown on your lips if it meant not letting you go, if he could pull you selfishly back, off the path you had chosen. You smiled, he despaired, one kiss was not enough, it never was and even when the last of your lungs had been filled with water, he still attempted to steal away your breath. 

“Don’t go, you are…”, he choked, on the water flowing so freely over your serenely smiling lips and his own gasping, heaving breath as time was about to run out, for you, for a together. Grasping for your face, he could barely feel your warmth anymore, all that returned the touch was the slightest of resistance, like dipping the tips of your fingers into a calm pond. “You are the only one that ever accepted me! This hollow me, you…”

Your gaze softened even more and the desire to scream in terror and hurt came over him like a sudden sickness of the mind, clawed and pushed and tore at him until he was bleeding with raw emotion.

“You can’t just leave…”, you had given him a taste of life, of vibrant colors and the heavenly rush of perfect imperfection. You had nurtured the seed of a dream inside his heart, had groomed and tended to it, without you, this seed would die, without you, he would fade once again. “You are the breath I need, you are--”

Gone.


End file.
